Poetry in Recovery!

I started writing poetry again! Here is what I've written so far.

on March 11th 2011
Obsession is my weapon of mass destruction.
I obsess to the point that I can't properly function.
I engross myself in that person, place or thing,
and try to take more than just what it's offering.
I'm hurting others, while just disappointing myself.
It's no good for my spiritual or mental health.
I'm working the steps, taking the steps,
so I can become less and less obsessed.
Even though, every day I see these defects,
every day I'm less stressed,
because I'm giving it to God,
giving him everything I've got,
the good and the bad,
the fresh and the rot,
my resentments and fears,
my heartaches and tears.
He's teaching me to listen.
So now I'll shut my mouth and open my ears.

March 12th 2011
I'm not perfect. I'm pretty insecure.
I don't know who I am, I'm really not sure.
I don't know who you see when your eyes stare at me.
I don't know what to do when I'm standing next to you.
I don't know what to say when you start walking my way.
I don't know where to go when you leave me all alone.
I don't know who I am, or what I like to do.
I wish I had a script and someone gave me all my cues.
Life wouldn't be so confusing if God would just tell me what to do.
I'm twenty years old, but I feel brand new,
but yet, not, because I'm used and abused, and I have a past.
I can look back and see an ugly view.
I've had plenty when I've said I'd only have a few.
I've left people high and dry without even bidding them a due.
But today's the day I see, and today's the day I choose. Today I will be clean.
Today I will not use.

March 21st 2011
You told me I found N(o) A(nswers) on my journey,
But I found the truth that set me free of my worries, fears, and impurities.
Truth that I'm N(ever) A(lone). Truth that I've found my home.
Truth that I'll N(ever) A(gain) have to use, be used, abuse, or be abused.
I'll N(ever) A(gain) have to lose everything.
The truth shall set you free.
You're not free to be the real you, because the real you, you don't even know or see.
I'm free to be the real me.
I'm free to see without cloudy vision, because I surrendered.
On a daily basis, you give in, so you can't see clearly.
you think you know what I'm going through, but you're not even near me.
You need to focus on you. I'm not even speaking to you. How can you hear me?

March 28th 2011
I can't always be strong. Sometimes I'm so weak.
I can't always be perfect. I can only be me.
When I'm hurt, I will cry. When I'm happy, I'll sing.
I don't care too much about what others think.
I don't know what I'm trying to find, because I've never had it before.
I want to go back to old familiar ways. I feel like I'm already there.
A few cigarettes later, and I feel the same despair.
I wish I could just pause time and stay in this moment forever.
By myself, yet I don't feel alone.
Watching a beautiful view that could soon be gone.

April 5th 2011
I once was addicted.
My heart, inflicted.
My mind, sick and twisted.
Living life, I resisted.
But then I was found.
In the dirt, on the ground.
I was hurt, I was bound
for death.
So I finally confessed.
I had no dreams, I had no goals.
It would seem I had no soul.
But then you told me you'd love me until I loved myself.
If I was hurting, you would help.
If my ass was burning, or on fire,
or I was in dire despair,
you would be there,
for me, because you care.
Life isn't fair,
but it's getting better.
I stay in the middle of the boat through all the stormy weather.
I can't do this alone, but we can do it together.
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not forever.
But one day at a time,
and I know eventually with your help, I'll get it right.