dreaming of you.

I've been dreaming of you. These dreams are so real that I'm devastated when I wake up. I miss the comfort of knowing you were always there for me. I miss the comfort of our platonic relationship; close and intimate and never more. I miss that you loved all the songs I loved, and loved to sing them with me. I miss your nonsensical conversations that made me feel closer to God. It's a reservation to think that one day we'll ever be able to be close like that again and feel the euphoria of our neurotransmitters receiving mass amounts of dopamine. But the one thing I miss most about the life I had before was you. I once thought God sent you to me; once the devil, and I'm still not sure. But I know that to invite you back into my life would mean giving up everything I've gained. Sometimes I wonder if it would be worth it, knowing that it wouldn't.