2am.

"It's 2am and I can't sleep, because of the fear and the pain and the caffeine."

An excerpt from a poem I wrote a few months ago that I can relate to right now.
Not so much the fear and the pain, but more like the racing mind that can't seem to calm itself, and probably the caffeine. I also tend to have my "throat problems" the worst during the night. I feel like I'm going through q-tip withdrawals more and more. I've googled things related to my q-tip addiction a lot but just tonight found this thread http://ask.metafilter.com/77113/How-can-I-detox-from-my-qtip-addiction it doesn't really help at all but it's nice to see people with the same problem as me.

So far I've gotten rid of my boombox that I traded for a digital camera. I sold my sewing machine for $50. I gave away a bunch of shoes. I'm going to try to get rid of whatever else I can. I got rid of it all on craigslist.

Well anywaaayss... things have been going good the past few days. I've been journaling again, mostly (except for tonight) going to sleep at a decent hour, practicing spiritual principles instead of just suppressing my defects, and even reading my bible! Interesting stuff going on in my life.